It’s Not Funny…

Mom and MeMost of the stuff I post here is humorous stuff designed to make people laugh, even when I am talking about “real” things as opposed to diatribes about Doom and Richards. Sadly, I don’t feel very funny right now. I recently found out that my mother has cancer…lung cancer. The best we could expect is maybe three years.

 Three years…that seems both long and short, but mostly short. I feel helpless and everyone keeps looking at me like I am supposed to know what is going on as I talk to doctors and all of that. It is a shock to the system to finally be an adult to those who have known you as “that college guy” for so long.

 I am man enough to admit I have lived a somewhat sheltered life with my mom always somewhere near home. I have never had to take that much responsibility in my life compared to others my age. I feel selfish when I worry what will become of me. Right now she is recovering from a drainage surgery and it is hard to look at her with all the tubes in her and the swelling and not cry.

 My parents divorced when I was young so from an early age it was really just me and her. She had to be a mother and a father to me. She would take me to Atlanta Braves’ Games and I would complain the whole time because I didn’t realize why she was taking me, and I didn’t like baseball much. I feel like a jerk for that.

 I never realized just how hard it was for us during those times until after my grandmother died a few years ago and mom opened up more about those days.

I will talk about this more as time goes on. I just wanted all of you to know.

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~ by vanredd on September 28, 2007.

7 Responses to “It’s Not Funny…”

  1. I’m so sorry, baby, and I will be there to support you and hold you when you want to cry. I love you.

  2. My thoughts and prayers are with you both my friend. I wish I wasn’t so far away to aid. 😦

  3. My prayers and hopes are with you guys too. I never know what to say at times like this and everything usually sounds like a hallmark card… but even cliches can be sincere, right?

  4. Sorry to hear you’re going through this Van. The best advice I can give you is to just be there for your mom the way she was for you when you were little. One of my biggest regrets in life was not being able to put our differences aside when my mom had cancer, and letting that prevent me from just being there for her. Its probably the toughest thing she will ever face, and just having you there could be the difference maker.

  5. Hey Van, found this blog, and this post sorta by accident through the achievement junkie site. Just so you know, my mother is also going through the same thing, as she was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer in late March.

    I’m an only child and 26 years old now, so I think we share a lot in this regard. If I can offer any advice, I would suggest you spend as much time with your mother as you can and keep a positive outlook on things… no matter what. Since my mother’s very bleak diagnosis, she has responded extremely well to the treatment and it turns out that one of the tumors they thought was malignant is now suspicious for being benign. She’s now scheduled for surgery and has a good chance of a long remission.

    My point is, stay positive. Cherish the time you have with her, you’ve got a rollercoaster of emotions ahead of you. My thoughts and prayers are with you for sure.

    P.S. Isn’t it amazing how a silly website about something as seemingly insignifcant as videogames has brought together such a good group of caring people? Amazing.

  6. […] and Terrill in your thoughts and prayers, as his Mom is very close to the end now. She has been dying from lung cancer and the doctors over the past few months have given her a varied prognosis from 3 years to a few […]

  7. Ijust found out my Mom has lung cancer. She is on her second treatment of chemo. Not sure what to expect. I have been doing a lot of reading and prepairing myself for the worse. Both my parents don’t want to know how serious it is. They just go for treatment and do as the doctors say. My mom is in great spirts and sounds great. My Dad is very quite and its hard to figure out what he is thinking. All they ask from us is to respect their decision of not asking questions and hope for the best. My mom is 67 and best to my knowledge she has been smoking since 18. I am hoping she lives for at least another 5 years, but from what I have read, that dosent seem like it will happen. They say in articals about a year. I hope she pulls through this.

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