manicdote

A lot of people have been complaining about the new Indiana Jones movie. They say it is the worst movie and now makes Temple of Doom the second worst. People who prefer Raiders and Crusade have only one valid point, that they are stupid. I am here to tell you that those people who put TOD down are turdburglers and are not to be trusted.

Temple had a much darker story then any of the other films. It delt with an evil cult, child slavery, and asian sidekicks. The main villain, Mola Ram, pulled a guys heart out with his bare hands…his BARE HANDS! If you don’t think that is awesome you obviously have no idea what awesome means (FYI: It means pulling someone’s heart out with your bare hands). This is also the film that created the PG-13 rating. So suck on that G and PG!

I will now show you with indisputable proof that Temple was the very best of the Indiana Jones films and had it all. Including:

So there you have it. If this is not enough to convice you then you are hopelessly lost.

If you can’t tell by the title that I loved the new Indy movie then there is no help for you. Go on! Get now! Go read some article about pink sissy socks or something because we have offical man bussiness to talk about. This movie was like becoming twelve years old all over again and anyone who says it sucks is falt out stupid, wrong, and probably a douche.

Communists being devoured by ants             ü

Nuclear Explosions                                       ü

Swordfights on moving jeeps                        ü

Indy using a rocket launcher                         ü

Indy and Marion bickering like dogs               ü

Secret Warehouse                                        ü

Jock vs. Greaser action                                 ü

Indy crying like a girl because of snakes         ü

Indy vs. Skull staring contest                         ü

Shia vs. Cate Blachet WWE Style                    ü

Monkeys!!!                                                   ü

FBI AGENT: Janitor (Scrubs)                          ü

Ark of the Covenant                                      ü

Brain Melting                                                ü

There you go, proof positive that this will be THE movie of the summer now and forever. The man with the hat is back!

Saturday night, Terry and I watched this movie called “Letters from Iwo Jima” which portrays the Battle of Iwo Jima from the perspective of the Japanese soldiers, filmed almost entirely in Japanese with subtitles. It a companion piece to Clint Eastwood’s ”Flags of Our Fathers,” which depicted the same battle from the American viewpoint.

I have not yet seen “Flags of Our Fathers”, but this movie, this “Letters from Iwo Jima” was really, really awesome. I absolutly loved it. It was compelling, beautiful, sad, extremely well acted; it was a story about war, the heartbreak, the tradgedy, the complete pointlessness of it - of bravery, of love, of patriotisim - not about what side the soldiers were on. It transcending what war was being fought, because it was merely a story of people caught up in the middle of a war that was not theirs; a story of humanity, so to speak.

I particularly loved the preformance by Ken Watanabe (General Tadamichi Kuribayashi), whom I had previously enjoyed in “The Last Samurai” and “Batman Begins”. His preformance was subtle, brilliant and imbued with an artful, intelligent compassion, of integrity, of…noble civility.

Additionally, the relative newcomer, Kazunari Ninomiya (who is actually a boy-band singer in Japan - seriously). In the film he plays, Private First Class Saigo, a baker drafted into the Imperial Japanese Army; as the film starts, it is his platoon that are grudgingly digging beach trenches on Iwo Jima. He is surprisingly engaging, likable, charming - we follow along his point of view, the point of view of someone dragged out of their life to fight in a war that has very little to do with his life, and he’s expected to die for it - that it is an honor for him and his family if he dies. And he is entirely expected to die. From the very beginning, he is told that he is basically there on Iwo Jima to be cannon fodder, that his life is meaningless except to hold back the envitable tide of American barbarians. In a glance, he is - angry, shell shocked, desperate, and grief-struck. It’s like watching someone dealing with grief. But the grief is over the eminant loss of his own life that he’s staring into the face of.

The film was beautiful and sad. I highly recommend it.

Okay, finally getting around to writing about this. What did I do over the weekend? Let’s see…Friday night I played some Halo 3, which was…sorta fun. And I say “sorta” because Xbox Live is having a lot of major laggy-issues right now and my friends and I spent most of the night chatting in the lobby rather than playing. And the few times we were able to play, the game glitched and lagged so badly, it certainly wasn’t any fun. However, chatting with my friends was fun….so basically I spent the evening chatting, not playing. Oh well. Hopefully Microsoft gets their shit together and it starts working again properly SOON.

 On Saturday Terry and I went and got his car an oil change and went grocery shopping. Then I took him up to Columbus and showed him around my job and some cool places around town, mostly in the St. Elmo or Lakebottom district which I recently found and realized I want to live there. It is crazy beautiful. I am really growing to love the Columbus, GA area. I’ll post pictures as soon as I take some.

We also went to Barnes & Noble and I may have done a little clothes shopping…but I needed a few things for work. Later that night we met up with my friend April who I met at work, and saw the Nicholas Cage movie, ”National Treasure.” I liked the movie in the way that one can enjoy a only slighty-plausable action-adventure movie about giant cities of gold burried underneat Mt. Rushmore….but my main issue with the movie was actually the fact that it was a complete re-hash of the first movie.

While Nicholas Cage and his geeky parner, Riley (Justin Bartha) were funny together, the movie didn’t do anything new. It was exactly the same movie, except instead of finding a city of gold underneath a museum, it was Mt. Rushmore. All that said, I know there will be an enevitable sequal to it again, because it has made oodles of money at the box office, but I’m pretty sure I won’t see the 3rd one in the theater - I’ll just wait to rent it because I already feel like I’ve seen the same movie twice in theaters.

Oh, and here’s another cute picture of  Napoleon - I cannot have a post without showing him off. Terry here was saying, “I will eat your brain!!!” This picture completely cracks me up because it totally explains our personality. Wait, that sounds wrong. No, we don’t eat puppies. But the thought of eating puppies amuses us. Wait, that doesn’t sound right, either. Blerg.

As for Sunday? We didn’t do anything except play “Tomb Raider” and chill out. Via la Lazy Sundays..!

In case you were not aware of the fact, today is “National Talk like a Pirate Day”! Seriously, this is a real holiday. Well, maybe not like, sanctioned by the government and we get the day off work, or anything. But, maybe in a few years…especially with the likelihood of the Democrats taking control in the white house shortly. You know those Democrats; they’re totally down with the pirates. Little know fact: Hillary frequently calls Bill a bilge rat.

Oh, check out this card that I made celebrating the holiday! That’s a picture of the front cover of it (see inset picture). Didn’t it come out great? I was pretty pleased with it.

Well, what’s up with me? I’m still packing; starting to feel nervous about getting it all done in time. The movers are coming next Sunday morning, on Sept 30^th, so I don’t have much time left. I would give a rough estimate and say that I’m only about 40% packed. This is pretty lousy considering that I really have only one full weekend left before moving. However, I found it somewhat prophetic that while I was packing up my bedroom last night, “Sweet Home Alabama” came on TV. The movie isn’t rocket science but it’s fairly charming and it was fun to have playing in the background while I worked. I’m so excited about moving!

In completely unrelated totally shocking news, Bruce is still annoying me. I know that was a non sequitor, but I just thought I’d mention it because he just walked past my cubicle and it reminded me of how much he annoys me. At least I’m lucky and I’ve only got until next Friday to put up with the bilge rat. Yeah, I call him that, too. Hillary and I are tight like that.

And lastly, To Err is Human, but to Arrr is Pirate!!!!

Admiral Ackbar, whose name in Mon Cal means means “selfless servant, was a true hero to the Rebel Alliance. He is probably best known for leading the assualt on the second Death Star which lead to the shattering of the Galactic Empire.  After the Battle of Endor he stuggled to help keep the fledgling New Republic together though such crises as the Grand Admiral Thrawn Invasion, Emperor Palpitine Reborn, The Black Fleet Crisis, The First Corellian Insurrection, and the Battle of Anx Minor. He then settled down for his well deserved retirement from the office of Supreme Commander of Republic Forces. It was not to last though as he came back into service during the Yuuzhan Vong War, giving hope to all forces that victory could be obtained. He died shortly before the war’s end at the age of 74. I am pleased to present this interview I conducted shortly before he died.

Van Redd: Hello Admiral, sorry I mean Supreme Commander. I guess I’m still use to that one since I served under you when you mostly when you were an Admiral.

Admiral Ackbar: Admiral is fine Van, it is the title most know me by anyway. Though feel free to call me just Ackbar.

Van: Oh no sir! I don’t think I could do that. I was actually hoping you could tell us why, now that the war is winding down, you came back into service.

Ackbar: The Republic needed me, they needed hope. I’ve never been one to flatter myself…or believe all the wonderful things people say about me. None of that will get you very far. I do know, however, that I have probably the most comprehensive amount of tactical knowledge in the fleet. It was my duty to put it to use if we are to push the Vong back and win the war.

Van: It was certainly something to see the messages on the Holoscreens that “ACKBAR IS BACK!” I was on the Republic Star Destroyer Virrveral when the news came. The day before people were barely speaking except for orders, that day there were parties and excitement all over the ship.

Ackbar: That is…that is very kind of you to say. I have to state though that one being cannot win a war. It is the united efforts of the Republic, the independent systems, and even the Imperial Remmnant that have brought us back from the brink of defeat to being on the cusp of winning the war.

Van: Well said, I would now like to delve into some personal topics if you don’t mind.

Ackbar: Go on.

Van: How have you been dealing with the loss of your niece, Jesmin?

Ackbar: I knew when her and my nephew Cilghal decided to join Luke Skywalker’s academy to become Jedi that there would be risks. I loved my niece but she died making the galaxy a safer place for good people and I know in my hearts that she would have no regrets about that. Still, I mourn for her still every day.

Van: You never got married or had any children, why is that?

Ackbar: The problem was always one of time I suppose. I never really chose a military career, it choosed me. The galaxy was always in such turmoil leading up the fall of Palpatine…and in even greater turmoil afterwards. I never had the time to make any of the relationships I was in work. Some good women wasted much time and patience on me I have to admit. (pause) To be truthful… I regret it, I would love the laughter of children and grandchildren to brighten my day…it…it was just not in the will of the Force for it to be so for me.

Van: What do you plan to do after the war?

Ackbar: (after a long pause) Van…I’m….I’m old you see. I don’t…I don’t think I have much time left to wonder about much of that. I probably will go back to my home on Mon Calamari and spend time what friends and family I have left. Can I give you some advice Van?

Van Redd: Of course sir.

Ackbar: Don’t outlive your friends, and find the time or make the time to build a life for yourself. Don’t wind up like your old commander Ackbar.

Van: I will sir.

Ackbar: I guess that is what life is then is’nt it?

Van: What is that sir?

Ackbar: It’s a trap!

(Note: Three standard galaxy days later Admiral Ackbar died.)